Let’s say in a fictional world you have enough money and you are paid enough money that you can contribute the entire amount allotted for a 401k pre-tax contribution in one lump sum at the end of January. Then, let us also assume that your 401k appreciates 1% each month for an annual yield of 11.56% (it’s only 11 months because your January contribution comes at the end of the month), which is a close enough approximation of the S&P’s historical growth. Is it significantly beneficial for you to contribute it all at once or incrementally? ($1272.72 a month, which would put you 8 cents shy of $14k, but accurate enough…)

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If you’ve seen Mad Money, you know he has a lightning round where he just takes a ton of phone calls where it’s basically a free for all where he gives his buy/hold/sell advice (with brief reasoning and alternatives if he hates the stock) on the ticker. How is he doing it? They screen the calls of course so his screen probably pops up with some summary information but is he getting some “extra” help on those screens? It can’t be possible that he comes up with advice on fly does it? Let’s think about it a little bit…

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Welcome to the next installment of Tax Relief 101, where I find interesting and legitimate ways to relieve your tax burden. This time, we’re going to look at the retirement savings credit that I didn’t even know about until today. Basically if you make under $25,000 and contribute to a retirement account, the government is willing to give some of that money back to you as a tax credit today (as much as $1,000). It’s an incentive for low-income earners to put away money for their retirement.

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Have you seen the latest Bank of America offer of $100 for opening a checking account? How about Comcast willing to pay you $25 a month to trade in your dish (or one you just bought off Ebay) and get you as a subscriber? Companies try their hardest to get new customers and with the prevailing attitude that it’s cheaper to keep a customer than it is to get a new one, you can get out of almost any penalty or fee if you simply ask. Just ask.

I’ve missed a credit card payment before on several (three times maybe, over the course of seven years) where I thought I did a payment online or, even farther back, I just misplaced the envelope and forgot (out of sight, out of mind). Well, in each case I was obviously dinged with a $10 or a $20 finance charge. Just call up the credit card company and tell them that you simply forgot, you’re a good customer, and could they waive the penalty. If they decline, simply tell them, politely, that you’d like to stay a loyal customer but if the credit card company isn’t willing to waive a small fee then you’ll try to find someone more understanding. In most cases, a CSR (customer service representative) has the authority to waive minor fees. Just give them a good reason.

The other day I discovered that at my credit union that I have overdraft protection on my checking account, if overdrawn money is automatically transferred from my savings account. I had seen it happen a number of times but I figured in the computer age, this service should be completely free. Maybe back in the day when someone had to write something in a ledger, I could understand it costing something. Anyhow, I have two overdraft protections a month and each one after that costs me a whopping $20. Well, that month I had my two and tacked on a third when I made a transfer to my ING Direct account and what walloped with the overdraft fee. I went in and politely talked to the credit union’s reps and told them I didn’t know about the overdraft (I didn’t) and if they could waive that fee. They did. (with a little bit of grumbling)

Moral: Always ask to have a fee refunded. If they say no, politely ask to have the account closed because you don’t understand why they wouldn’t help out a loyal customer (I think the wording of that line is very important), and don’t forget/mess up too often. It wouldn’t be unreasonable if they denied my attempt to have a second overdraft fee waived and I’d be irresponsible to expect them to waive it. Please share experiences you may have doing the same thing because the customer is always right!

Okay, first I watched Jim Cramer’s Mad Money show (and let you all know what I thought), which led me following his column on TheStreet.com about his 25 Rules of Investing. He has a new book too called Real Money: Sane Investing in an Insane World and as a bonus to readers he’s listing 25 rules on the site. I like his hard hitting, no BS attitude and I’ll give you my summary and impression of his self-proclaimed twenty five rules. Can 25 rules really capture every rule of investing? No, definitely not. But I want to read what this dude has to say…

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How many times did you see Gevalia and think Godiva? Yeah, I did that a whole bunch of times until I realized Gevalia is all about Kaffe (coffee!). Anyway, they have an offer out there for a 8-cup free coffeemaker, two 1/2-lbs. packages of coffee, and a stainless steel travel mug for five bucks. That’s it… five whole dollars for all that (shipping and handling are included). The freebies must be crap right? Actually, wrong… I tried out the trial program (easily cancelled right afterwards) and it went pretty good. Currently, the offer is for a 12-cup coffeemaker, 2 ceramic mugs, and a stainless steel scoop for $14.95 though I signed up for only the 8-cup coffeemaker and travel mug for $5.

Until I started working full time, I drank coffee sparingly because I didn’t really need to be totally awake in order to walk to class and fall back asleep. But after I started work, coffee became a staple of my morning routine. I didn’t make it at home because I didn’t have coffee or a coffeemaker but they had it at work so I drank it there. Then came the time I had to wake up early for a flight and found I seriously needed some coffee to make it through so this $5 coffeemaker, coffee and travel mug was right up my alley.

Signing up online was easier than stealing candy from a baby, within a few minutes my order was in. I had the cancellation number handy (1-800-438-2542) so whenever I received the package I could call to cancel. The order arrived a few days later in a huge but light package (the coffeemaker is big) that included everything I expected, no problems whatsoever.

Coffeemaker - The coffeemaker was a Gevalia branded percolator that is able to brew up to 8 cups of coffee, two would be enough for me. The coffeemaker is programmable by timer and brews great coffee in mere minutes. The only downside is that the little filter holder is a weird triangular shape I wasn’t used to seeing. A regular filter will fit fine in but it won’t be a snug fit, but it wasn’t a problem for me at all. The pitcher is sturdy enough and I’ve accidentally banged it lightly on the counter without any cracks. I’m not going to tempt fate by banging it really hard though.

Coffee - You pick the two half-pound packages you want and they come in a foil bag that folds down easily. I drink coffee infrequently at home so I throw them in the freezer where they stay just fine. You get a pretty solid selection of free coffees when you start.

Travel Mug - The mug is just like any other travel mug really. It’s not cheap or flimsy, as I would’ve expected, but it’s not anything really special either.

Overall Impression - Great deal for $5 if you don’t have a coffeemaker. You can can set the $5 coffeemaker on a timer; that alone is worth the $5. You aren’t getting crappy trial offer junk you’d expect at such a low price. I also haven’t been getting any junk mail from them (only once, to offer me the same deal again) so that’s a bonus. I hate it when I quit something and they constantly send offers to get me to join again. Gevalia didn’t do that, for which I’m thankful. If you do take advantage of this, remember, the cancellation number is 1-800-438-2542.

I forget what show I was watching, but it was one of those shows where you have all that Bloomberg ticker crap taking up 75% of the screen and little faces jibber jabbering in the leftover space, but the guy talked briefly about how your IRS 1040 (the full incarnation of the form everyone fills out for taxes) gives you subtle reminders of the things you should do to help plan your financial future. I didn’t watch the whole thing but I thought it’d be fun to go through each relevant line (yeah, I’m a sadist) and see how it could be used as a subtle yearly financial plan reminder.

Line 8a - Taxable Interest
Line 8b - Tax-exempt Interest
There are investment vehicles out there that are tax exempt at certain government levels. For example, an EE/E bond is exempt from State and local income taxes but not from federal taxes. This is a reminder that sometimes your most conservative assets may be better placed in a tax-exempt bond than in a savings account bearing 3.0%. Of course, you sacrifice flexibility but you should know tax-exempt investments are out there but you do keep Uncle Sam’s grubby little paws off your loot.

Line 13 - Capital gain or (loss)
This is something you can only capitalize on if you remember it before December 31st. If you have a loss and want to write it off, sell it to offset a gain you may have had. Just remember not to repurchase shares in the same company within 31 days or the “wash” rule will bite you (and you won’t be able to write off the loss). Did you buy shares of JDS Uniphase and got burned badly in the bubble? Yeah, me too, write it off now because they’re never going to break even for you.

Line 15a - IRA distributions
Line 25 - IRA deduction
Contribute to a Roth or any other type of IRA? These lines are a reminder that perhaps you should be planning for your retirement because Social Security won’t be enough to sustain a lavish retirement lifestyle! Retirement planning, especially for young workers, is critical because it is something that benefits with the passage of time. The more you sow now, the greater the benefits you will reap in the future. You want to be living in luxury when you’re retired, not a cardboard box. (You cannot deduct Roth contributions on your return, I just intended for that line to serve as a reminder to plan for retirement)

Line 33 - Penalty on early withdrawal of savings
Tsk tsk! That IRA or 401k isn’t a slush fund you can withdraw on to buy that shiny [whatever]. Let line 33 be a reminder that you will be penalized for mortgaging a portion of your retirement for gratification now. Alright, I’m just kidding about the severity but you should be readily dipping into your retirement for every thing. Sometimes it makes financial sense, but most (90%) of the time it’s a bad idea. (Example of good ideas? In times of hardship, dipping into the retirement savings may be unavoidable)

Line 49 - Education credits
The government will help you educate yourself, even if your employer will not. Learn about Hope Credit and Lifetime Learning Credits and see how you or your dependents may benefit from them.

Unless I’ve missed anything glaring, those 5 “lines” cover a lot of the basic financial planning advice given out these days. Consider all investment opportunities with respect to the tax advantages, plan for your future, don’t mess up your future by needlessly borrowing from it, and always educate yourself. I’m not saying that the dreaded tax form should be your financial advisor, a human being almost always beats a piece of paper, but it gives you a couple subtle reminders for things you may have forgotten or conveniently ignored. Take a look at your return and see if you’ve taken advantage of everything you could’ve.