Comments on: Basics of Prenuptial Agreements http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/basics-of-prenuptial-agreements.html personal finance blog with anecdotes, advice and commentary. Sun, 22 Nov 2009 06:04:27 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.5 hourly 1 By: bb http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/basics-of-prenuptial-agreements.html/comment-page-1#comment-303140 bb Wed, 06 May 2009 17:35:49 +0000 http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/basics-of-prenuptial-agreements.html#comment-303140 Seems like a no-brainer to me. Perhaps this kind of disussion would shed some light on the controvery re same sex marriage, in that the 'marriage' contract / pre-nuptial agreement specify the parties by name, not sex. Seems like a no-brainer to me. Perhaps this kind of disussion would shed some light on the controvery re same sex marriage, in that the ‘marriage’ contract / pre-nuptial agreement specify the parties by name, not sex.

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/basics-of-prenuptial-agreements.html/comment-page-1#comment-210382 Anonymous Sun, 20 Jan 2008 23:48:05 +0000 http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/basics-of-prenuptial-agreements.html#comment-210382 I think a basic pre-nup agreement is a good idea if someone in the relationship insists on one. It helps to organize a divorce. However; 10, 15, 20 years on down the road, your lives are so changed and intertwined. Each person has given so much to the other, priceless things, that a prenup should be void after a specified number of years. The conversation which most people should have before they are married is how do they want to live their married lives together-financially, emotionally, physically, everything. A person can do a lot more damage in a marriage then they can do after one, if this topic isn't discussed and understood. Open conversation and an understanding of how each wants to spend their married lives together should be discussed before marriage. If you do not want to go into a union, get ahead in lives together, and live as a team with your partner, then what is the point? You should get married at all. You can always earn money, it will always be there. But your emotions and your mind are what will truly be scarred and will affect you the most after a divorce. I think a basic pre-nup agreement is a good idea if someone in the relationship insists on one. It helps to organize a divorce. However; 10, 15, 20 years on down the road, your lives are so changed and intertwined. Each person has given so much to the other, priceless things, that a prenup should be void after a specified number of years.
The conversation which most people should have before they are married is how do they want to live their married lives together-financially, emotionally, physically, everything. A person can do a lot more damage in a marriage then they can do after one, if this topic isn’t discussed and understood. Open conversation and an understanding of how each wants to spend their married lives together should be discussed before marriage. If you do not want to go into a union, get ahead in lives together, and live as a team with your partner, then what is the point? You should get married at all.
You can always earn money, it will always be there. But your emotions and your mind are what will truly be scarred and will affect you the most after a divorce.

]]> By: 1000xZero http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/basics-of-prenuptial-agreements.html/comment-page-1#comment-174089 1000xZero Sun, 28 Oct 2007 16:51:06 +0000 http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/basics-of-prenuptial-agreements.html#comment-174089 I think everyone should have a prenup. Make it fair to both parters. It protects both partners. If either partner would not sign one then I would seriously think about not marrying that person. There is an ulterior motive there even if it is not a conscious one. I think everyone should have a prenup. Make it fair to both parters.

It protects both partners. If either partner would not sign one then I would seriously think about not marrying that person. There is an ulterior motive there even if it is not a conscious one.

]]> By: Andrew http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/basics-of-prenuptial-agreements.html/comment-page-1#comment-171928 Andrew Wed, 24 Oct 2007 22:02:25 +0000 http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/basics-of-prenuptial-agreements.html#comment-171928 The truth of the matter is that you just can't know what will come down the road in the future. I've known people who have changed direction unexpectedly and it has taken a toll on every aspect of their life. In a situation like that I'm sure they were thinking everything was roses early on, but it is always better to be prepared. I've done the prenup conversation and dealt with the whole "You don't trust me" issue. That can be a real pain, but I'd rather deal with that than give up everything I've worked so hard for to someone who isn't willing to part amicably on pre-agreed terms. For a significant other to say they won't sign is like a confession that they want to use you for whatever they can get and leave you broken and penniless. Maybe that sounds harsh, but you should be able to communicate openly with your significant other. If you can't then you probably shouldn't be getting married anyway, or at least not without a prenup. ;) The truth of the matter is that you just can’t know what will come down the road in the future. I’ve known people who have changed direction unexpectedly and it has taken a toll on every aspect of their life. In a situation like that I’m sure they were thinking everything was roses early on, but it is always better to be prepared.

I’ve done the prenup conversation and dealt with the whole “You don’t trust me” issue. That can be a real pain, but I’d rather deal with that than give up everything I’ve worked so hard for to someone who isn’t willing to part amicably on pre-agreed terms. For a significant other to say they won’t sign is like a confession that they want to use you for whatever they can get and leave you broken and penniless. Maybe that sounds harsh, but you should be able to communicate openly with your significant other. If you can’t then you probably shouldn’t be getting married anyway, or at least not without a prenup. ;)

]]> By: Robert http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/basics-of-prenuptial-agreements.html/comment-page-1#comment-170368 Robert Mon, 22 Oct 2007 06:10:41 +0000 http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/basics-of-prenuptial-agreements.html#comment-170368 Thomas says you get a prenup to protect each other, but that's not at all how it works. It protects YOU from the other person, but I think it's at the cost of some trust and love. If you divorce, then it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Thomas says you get a prenup to protect each other, but that’s not at all how it works. It protects YOU from the other person, but I think it’s at the cost of some trust and love. If you divorce, then it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.

]]> By: Charles http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/basics-of-prenuptial-agreements.html/comment-page-1#comment-169385 Charles Fri, 19 Oct 2007 22:56:07 +0000 http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/basics-of-prenuptial-agreements.html#comment-169385 I was just listening to an audio book. And the author says "We have contracts to protect us from people we don't trust". So having a prenup is a bad omen for two people who profess to love, protect, and share life together. I was just listening to an audio book. And the author says “We have contracts to protect us from people we don’t trust”. So having a prenup is a bad omen for two people who profess to love, protect, and share life together.

]]> By: Rob Carlson http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/basics-of-prenuptial-agreements.html/comment-page-1#comment-169284 Rob Carlson Fri, 19 Oct 2007 15:43:29 +0000 http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/basics-of-prenuptial-agreements.html#comment-169284 IANAL. This is what I recall of how it was explained to me by a lawyer friend during my engagement. In Maryland you leave with the assets you brought in, and typically share the proceeds of the assets of the union. If you entered into marriage with a house, car, retirement, etc. at a certain level, you would most likely leave with at least that. Then for assets after marriage, it'd probably be calculated 50/50 considering mortgage payments towards principal, assets purchased jointly, home improvements, contributions to joint accounts, each spouses' retirement, etc. This assumes, I guess, that regardless of the amount of money each party brings in, they are both equal partners to the union. The prenup affects the contributions to those assets after marriage, so if you made $250k/yr and your partner made $25k/yr, you would probably want to designate a more reasonable (90/10) distribution of marital assets should you ever have to split them up. If you're assuming you're going to be a pretty evenly matched pair when factoring in financial and non-financial contributions to the marriage, its probably not worth the trouble. IANAL. This is what I recall of how it was explained to me by a lawyer friend during my engagement.

In Maryland you leave with the assets you brought in, and typically share the proceeds of the assets of the union. If you entered into marriage with a house, car, retirement, etc. at a certain level, you would most likely leave with at least that.

Then for assets after marriage, it’d probably be calculated 50/50 considering mortgage payments towards principal, assets purchased jointly, home improvements, contributions to joint accounts, each spouses’ retirement, etc. This assumes, I guess, that regardless of the amount of money each party brings in, they are both equal partners to the union.

The prenup affects the contributions to those assets after marriage, so if you made $250k/yr and your partner made $25k/yr, you would probably want to designate a more reasonable (90/10) distribution of marital assets should you ever have to split them up.

If you’re assuming you’re going to be a pretty evenly matched pair when factoring in financial and non-financial contributions to the marriage, its probably not worth the trouble.

]]> By: Nas http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/basics-of-prenuptial-agreements.html/comment-page-1#comment-169263 Nas Fri, 19 Oct 2007 14:35:46 +0000 http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/basics-of-prenuptial-agreements.html#comment-169263 It would be interesting if pre-nups were required by law. Then we could save quite a lot of tax money on court cases. It would be interesting if pre-nups were required by law. Then we could save quite a lot of tax money on court cases.

]]> By: Patrick http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/basics-of-prenuptial-agreements.html/comment-page-1#comment-169050 Patrick Fri, 19 Oct 2007 01:15:22 +0000 http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/basics-of-prenuptial-agreements.html#comment-169050 I never got a prenup and didn't even consider it. What I'm trying to figure out is just what exactly the words on the window state in the picture. Not the "I just got Divorced," I can read that quite well... ;) I never got a prenup and didn’t even consider it.

What I’m trying to figure out is just what exactly the words on the window state in the picture. Not the “I just got Divorced,” I can read that quite well… ;)

]]> By: Nick http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/basics-of-prenuptial-agreements.html/comment-page-1#comment-168904 Nick Thu, 18 Oct 2007 19:54:42 +0000 http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/basics-of-prenuptial-agreements.html#comment-168904 A nice article describing why the divorce rate isn't nearly as high as everyone thinks it is. It's never been 50% and it isn't likely to ever reach 50%. Oh, and the rate is actually decreasing (a trend which may or may not continue, but since trends were used to come up with the 50% estimate in the first place it is worth noting). http://www.nytimes.com/2005/04/19/health/19divo.html I can see the value of a pre-nup under certain situations, especially when the financial situations of the two people are drastically different before they get married, but in general if you feel like you need a pre-nup you probably shouldn't be getting married in the first place. A nice article describing why the divorce rate isn’t nearly as high as everyone thinks it is. It’s never been 50% and it isn’t likely to ever reach 50%. Oh, and the rate is actually decreasing (a trend which may or may not continue, but since trends were used to come up with the 50% estimate in the first place it is worth noting).

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/04/19/health/19divo.html

I can see the value of a pre-nup under certain situations, especially when the financial situations of the two people are drastically different before they get married, but in general if you feel like you need a pre-nup you probably shouldn’t be getting married in the first place.

]]> By: MoneyNing http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/basics-of-prenuptial-agreements.html/comment-page-1#comment-168884 MoneyNing Thu, 18 Oct 2007 19:08:25 +0000 http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/basics-of-prenuptial-agreements.html#comment-168884 btw jim, I'm guessing you watched the billionaire inside show on CNBC with Donald Trump? btw jim, I’m guessing you watched the billionaire inside show on CNBC with Donald Trump?

]]> By: MoneyNing http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/basics-of-prenuptial-agreements.html/comment-page-1#comment-168883 MoneyNing Thu, 18 Oct 2007 19:07:48 +0000 http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/basics-of-prenuptial-agreements.html#comment-168883 I just can't bring myself to even talking about it :) It's fine if both parties are similar in wealth but it's a very nasty thing to do if you are the side who "has more to lose" so to speak. I just can’t bring myself to even talking about it :) It’s fine if both parties are similar in wealth but it’s a very nasty thing to do if you are the side who “has more to lose” so to speak.

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/basics-of-prenuptial-agreements.html/comment-page-1#comment-168871 Anonymous Thu, 18 Oct 2007 18:19:49 +0000 http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/basics-of-prenuptial-agreements.html#comment-168871 I think they are a good idea, because it can't hurt to think about these things. No one wants to die either but we should still have a will. In fact, I think discussing and writing things down informally is a good idea even if you don't really need to get one formally drawn up. I think they are a good idea, because it can’t hurt to think about these things. No one wants to die either but we should still have a will.

In fact, I think discussing and writing things down informally is a good idea even if you don’t really need to get one formally drawn up.

]]> By: thomas http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/basics-of-prenuptial-agreements.html/comment-page-1#comment-168865 thomas Thu, 18 Oct 2007 17:49:14 +0000 http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/basics-of-prenuptial-agreements.html#comment-168865 people who "really" love each other get prenups to protect each other. What are the numbers on divorce 50% ???. I am sure that the majority of people getting married are in love and life is all roses, yet half of them end up divorced. CYA. people who “really” love each other get prenups to protect each other. What are the numbers on divorce 50% ???. I am sure that the majority of people getting married are in love and life is all roses, yet half of them end up divorced.
CYA.

]]> By: saladdin http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/basics-of-prenuptial-agreements.html/comment-page-1#comment-168837 saladdin Thu, 18 Oct 2007 16:07:17 +0000 http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/basics-of-prenuptial-agreements.html#comment-168837 I read not long ago about the idea of marriage licenses having expiration dates. Say you want to try marriage for 1,3 or 5 years and after that time you are automatically un-married to do what you please. Kids kick in the child support clause. Kinda like Albert Pujols contract having a mutual option clause. Both sides have to agree to the contract extension. saladdin I read not long ago about the idea of marriage licenses having expiration dates. Say you want to try marriage for 1,3 or 5 years and after that time you are automatically un-married to do what you please. Kids kick in the child support clause.

Kinda like Albert Pujols contract having a mutual option clause. Both sides have to agree to the contract extension.

saladdin

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