Comments on: How to Battle the “I Want” Syndrome

By: Meg54

Meg54 — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 00:18:10 +0000

I use the sticker system too! 10 stickers earns a small toy like a matchbox for my 4 year old son. It’s SOOO much nicer to say…you don’t have 10 stickers yet so No you can’t have that race car yet let’s count how many you need to earn. Its been a lifesaver at the store and he seems to get it that its not just mom saying no…his little brother does just as much in being a good helper and sticker earning as he does just by watching him! i’m glad you use this too!!

By: Jorge

Jorge — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 11:12:36 +0000

I have a 7 and a 9 year old and couldn’t agree more with your approach. We started giving our kids an allowance last year and the “I wants” have completely disappeared. They typically want books (which is a good thing to want I suppose), and when they ask for one, I simply ask them if they have enough money saved. If they have the money, sometimes they will buy the book, but more often then not, they will stop, think about it for a minute and then say, “I’d rather see if I can get it at the library and save mymoney.” It’s amazing how their perspective changes once they have some skin in the game so to speak.

I have some posts about kids & money back at my site if anyone is interested on my approach.

Nice post!

By: kitty

kitty — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 03:00:25 +0000

My mother’s reply to my “I want” have often been “Sure, please, continue to want. Have I ever forbidden you to want something?”

Not at 4, mind you. But in general my parents were never shy of telling me “this is expensive, your mommy has to work that many hours to earn this money”. Of course, this was in a country where a nice doll could cost half of the day’s salary of an engineer, and people spent half a month salary for a half decent dress.

I do agree about looking at one item’s cost in terms of what else can be bought for the same amount. This is the way I’ve been conditioned to look at things since childhood to the point that it has become automatic, and it really helps in learning to appreciate the value of money.

By: Henry

Henry — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 01:34:30 +0000

Not just for children; these are lessons many adults need to learn! Thanks for the post.

By: Matt Fyffe

Matt Fyffe — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 00:16:06 +0000

Great list. It’s always something scary to me to imagine having a child and to instill a sense of values in them. However, your tips seem like a great way to cut down on selfish, consumer-driven behavior. Oh god help me when I have a child.

By: John

John — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 19:14:52 +0000

Great post and I loved reading the tips, although I am still a couple of years from worrying about this.

I do like one commenters suggestion of donating a toy when receiving a new one. Not only are they giving, they are also learning there is a consequence if they really want that new toy.

By: sara l

sara l — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 18:59:34 +0000

Another way to add giving is to donate a toy when he gets something new. Maybe not every time, but if there’s something special that he gets then he has to choose something from his current toy collection to give to someone else.

By: daniel

daniel — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 18:38:36 +0000

great post!

By: Corporate Barbarian

Corporate Barbarian — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 16:56:42 +0000

Four is a tough age to try to reason with kids, especially with the bombardment of advertising aimed at them. Your sticker system looks interesting. I have teenagers, and I use the example of opportunity cost: If we buy the shiny new gadget, that’s an extra X hours that I have to work, or that’s less money that we can use for vacation. When they realize the consequences of their wants, they are more apt to back down.