Comments on: Creating Joint Banking Accounts for Married Couples http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/creating-joint-banking-accounts-for-married-couples.html personal finance blog with anecdotes, advice and commentary. Sun, 22 Nov 2009 06:04:27 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.5 hourly 1 By: Natalie http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/creating-joint-banking-accounts-for-married-couples.html/comment-page-1#comment-327343 Natalie Sun, 13 Sep 2009 02:01:26 +0000 http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/creating-joint-banking-accounts-for-married-couples.html#comment-327343 Reply to NEWLY - my husband and I have been married for a year and a half now and currently have our finances set up the way you state you want to organize yours. I really encourage you to reconsider. We've had an extremely difficult time budgeting, paying bills, and communicating about our finances with this method. We initially tried separate accounts with a joint account that would receive a portion of each of our paychecks for all of the reasons most people state: I want control of my money because I make more, he has more expenses that I don't want to be responsible for, it's safer to keep things separate if something happens to one of us, etc. What we've discovered, though, is that whether or not I make more money or he spends more doesn't matter. We actually have less control over our budget doing it this way and it's creating a lot of frustration. So, I've been searching for thoughts and ideas on what other people do. This is what we've decided from all of our research: First, we will have a joint checking account that both our paychecks get deposited into. From here we will make ALL payments so we can follow ONE household budget for all recurring expenses [rent/mortgage, utilities, cell phone plans, student loan payments, car payments/insurance, etc.]. Yes, that means I'll be paying partly for his student loans and he'll partly be paying for both of mine. But we both knew what we were getting into before we got married so it doesn't matter where the money comes from - it will be easier to budget this way. Second, we will have joint savings account/s that gets a portion transferred to it each month from the joint checking for house savings, vacations, emergencies, etc. Third, we will each have a separate checking account that gets a monthly portion from our joint income [5-10% - we haven't decided yet] This is for each of us to do whatever we want with - spend or save - without the other getting frustrated or mad about it. I have a friend who calls this their "slush funds" but really it's a monthly allowance for each of you. One of us will be assigned as the 'household financial manager' to keep a regular eye on the joint accounts and make sure everything is in order, but of course we will still keep a running dialog over our joint accounts. We will then each be responsible for our individual accounts. Again, this comes out of a year and a half of frustration trying to manage a budget starting with separate accounts and money transferring to a joint. REALLY difficult - even for a banker which my husband used to be! The present plan is a combination of ideas from our own experience and information we've gleaned from financial professionals and other resources. Hope this helps or at least gets you thinking about other options for your financial organization! Reply to NEWLY – my husband and I have been married for a year and a half now and currently have our finances set up the way you state you want to organize yours. I really encourage you to reconsider. We’ve had an extremely difficult time budgeting, paying bills, and communicating about our finances with this method. We initially tried separate accounts with a joint account that would receive a portion of each of our paychecks for all of the reasons most people state: I want control of my money because I make more, he has more expenses that I don’t want to be responsible for, it’s safer to keep things separate if something happens to one of us, etc.
What we’ve discovered, though, is that whether or not I make more money or he spends more doesn’t matter. We actually have less control over our budget doing it this way and it’s creating a lot of frustration.
So, I’ve been searching for thoughts and ideas on what other people do. This is what we’ve decided from all of our research:
First, we will have a joint checking account that both our paychecks get deposited into. From here we will make ALL payments so we can follow ONE household budget for all recurring expenses [rent/mortgage, utilities, cell phone plans, student loan payments, car payments/insurance, etc.]. Yes, that means I’ll be paying partly for his student loans and he’ll partly be paying for both of mine. But we both knew what we were getting into before we got married so it doesn’t matter where the money comes from – it will be easier to budget this way.
Second, we will have joint savings account/s that gets a portion transferred to it each month from the joint checking for house savings, vacations, emergencies, etc.
Third, we will each have a separate checking account that gets a monthly portion from our joint income [5-10% - we haven't decided yet] This is for each of us to do whatever we want with – spend or save – without the other getting frustrated or mad about it. I have a friend who calls this their “slush funds” but really it’s a monthly allowance for each of you.
One of us will be assigned as the ‘household financial manager’ to keep a regular eye on the joint accounts and make sure everything is in order, but of course we will still keep a running dialog over our joint accounts. We will then each be responsible for our individual accounts.
Again, this comes out of a year and a half of frustration trying to manage a budget starting with separate accounts and money transferring to a joint. REALLY difficult – even for a banker which my husband used to be! The present plan is a combination of ideas from our own experience and information we’ve gleaned from financial professionals and other resources.
Hope this helps or at least gets you thinking about other options for your financial organization!

]]> By: Natalie http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/creating-joint-banking-accounts-for-married-couples.html/comment-page-1#comment-327342 Natalie Sun, 13 Sep 2009 02:00:17 +0000 http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/creating-joint-banking-accounts-for-married-couples.html#comment-327342 Thank you so much Jim for opening this dialog! It has been extremely helpful to read through everyone's ideas, thoughts, and concerns. Thank you so much Jim for opening this dialog! It has been extremely helpful to read through everyone’s ideas, thoughts, and concerns.

]]> By: newly http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/creating-joint-banking-accounts-for-married-couples.html/comment-page-1#comment-133155 newly Wed, 18 Jul 2007 20:37:54 +0000 http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/creating-joint-banking-accounts-for-married-couples.html#comment-133155 we just got married and our thinking is that a financial plan should fit the personalities involved. personally, i tend to be somewhat controlling about finances (big saver, very practical) whereas she tends to be more impulse-oriented. in order for me to not be as controlling and her to be more thoughtful of her spending, we're planning on each having a separate savings account, with a percentage of our salary going to a joint account (i say percentage because it's the only fair way to divide when one person makes significantly more than the other). the joint account will finance rent, utility bills, and other mutual expenses (basically anything we mutually enjoy like vacations etc.). i'm sure there will be grey areas where it's not clear whether something is joint or not, but that's where understanding and maturity are required. at the very least, she can learn to manage her finances and i will be far less judgemental since it's her money she will be spending on personal things. we just got married and our thinking is that a financial plan should fit the personalities involved. personally, i tend to be somewhat controlling about finances (big saver, very practical) whereas she tends to be more impulse-oriented. in order for me to not be as controlling and her to be more thoughtful of her spending, we’re planning on each having a separate savings account, with a percentage of our salary going to a joint account (i say percentage because it’s the only fair way to divide when one person makes significantly more than the other). the joint account will finance rent, utility bills, and other mutual expenses (basically anything we mutually enjoy like vacations etc.). i’m sure there will be grey areas where it’s not clear whether something is joint or not, but that’s where understanding and maturity are required. at the very least, she can learn to manage her finances and i will be far less judgemental since it’s her money she will be spending on personal things.

]]> By: jim http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/creating-joint-banking-accounts-for-married-couples.html/comment-page-1#comment-48995 jim Sat, 09 Dec 2006 13:27:36 +0000 http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/creating-joint-banking-accounts-for-married-couples.html#comment-48995 Depending on how your companies are structured, you can still do a joint account. If they're both sole proprietorships, just lump them back into the same account. If they're corporation, I don't know if that is possible, let alone even a good idea. I think you need to sit down and talk with your spouse because the issues you mention don't really have to do with where the money goes. Depending on how your companies are structured, you can still do a joint account. If they’re both sole proprietorships, just lump them back into the same account. If they’re corporation, I don’t know if that is possible, let alone even a good idea.

I think you need to sit down and talk with your spouse because the issues you mention don’t really have to do with where the money goes.

]]> By: whattodo? http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/creating-joint-banking-accounts-for-married-couples.html/comment-page-1#comment-48888 whattodo? Sat, 09 Dec 2006 04:36:43 +0000 http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/creating-joint-banking-accounts-for-married-couples.html#comment-48888 In a dilemna, been married 17 years and first 10 years had all money together into one account, paid the bills and what we had left we put some into savings and then the rest we decided together what to do with it, have fun, vacation, etc....but now in the last 7 years we have both been self employed and have two seperate businesses. We each have certain personal (like household) bills we are responsible for paying out of our business accounts and because of this it has torn us apart. Our goals are different and seperate and it is hard when one of us is doing better in business in some months and other months might be slow times, how can we adjust so that when one is struggling to make the bills it is fair. We fight all the time about it and it's like we each don't know what is going on with each others money. It's creating a huge problem and now we want to get on track and are trying to resolve if we have a joint personal account where we each put in a designated amount, maybe a percentage of what we make per check (since they vary) then pay all household bills out of that account and what is left is to be kept for emergency or a percentage put into retirement account. We are just so lost and need help with any ideas that are available. Help. In a dilemna, been married 17 years and first 10 years had all money together into one account, paid the bills and what we had left we put some into savings and then the rest we decided together what to do with it, have fun, vacation, etc….but now in the last 7 years we have both been self employed and have two seperate businesses. We each have certain personal (like household) bills we are responsible for paying out of our business accounts and because of this it has torn us apart. Our goals are different and seperate and it is hard when one of us is doing better in business in some months and other months might be slow times, how can we adjust so that when one is struggling to make the bills it is fair. We fight all the time about it and it’s like we each don’t know what is going on with each others money. It’s creating a huge problem and now we want to get on track and are trying to resolve if we have a joint personal account where we each put in a designated amount, maybe a percentage of what we make per check (since they vary) then pay all household bills out of that account and what is left is to be kept for emergency or a percentage put into retirement account. We are just so lost and need help with any ideas that are available.

Help.

]]> By: john doe http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/creating-joint-banking-accounts-for-married-couples.html/comment-page-1#comment-16529 john doe Tue, 22 Aug 2006 13:44:24 +0000 http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/creating-joint-banking-accounts-for-married-couples.html#comment-16529 I found the best solution for us (married less than a year) was to have both of our paychecks direct deposited into our joint money market fund (after 401k deductions obviously). From there we have money, in the amount of our monthly budget, automatically deducted to our checking account. Additionally, we have money automatically deducted on a monthly basis to our Roth IRA's. We keep all of our accounts (MMF, Roth IRA's) except for the checking at Vanguard (Vanguard doesn't have checking accounts). The checking account is free and doesn't require a min. deposit (we use State Farm). The best thing about this set up is that any money excess of what are expenses are is automatically left in the MMF as savings and earning the highest interest rate. For example, say our paychecks deposited into the MMF are $6k our expenses are $4k and our Roth IRA contributions are $500 each ($1000 total/mo), at the end of the month we have $1,000 left in the MMF that doesn't need to be transferred to savings. This will be particularly useful if you have a variable income, as we sometime do, because the extra money would be automatically left in savings. I hope this was helpful. I found the best solution for us (married less than a year) was to have both of our paychecks direct deposited into our joint money market fund (after 401k deductions obviously). From there we have money, in the amount of our monthly budget, automatically deducted to our checking account. Additionally, we have money automatically deducted on a monthly basis to our Roth IRA’s. We keep all of our accounts (MMF, Roth IRA’s) except for the checking at Vanguard (Vanguard doesn’t have checking accounts). The checking account is free and doesn’t require a min. deposit (we use State Farm). The best thing about this set up is that any money excess of what are expenses are is automatically left in the MMF as savings and earning the highest interest rate. For example, say our paychecks deposited into the MMF are $6k our expenses are $4k and our Roth IRA contributions are $500 each ($1000 total/mo), at the end of the month we have $1,000 left in the MMF that doesn’t need to be transferred to savings. This will be particularly useful if you have a variable income, as we sometime do, because the extra money would be automatically left in savings. I hope this was helpful.

]]> By: 2 million http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/creating-joint-banking-accounts-for-married-couples.html/comment-page-1#comment-16345 2 million Mon, 21 Aug 2006 17:10:41 +0000 http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/creating-joint-banking-accounts-for-married-couples.html#comment-16345 My fiancee and I began our initial conversations about this very topic this weekend. We all have plenty of time and figured we would take the first step by opening a joint savings account to save for future vacations. I am really perplexed by the whole thing - it would be nice and easy to make everything joint - luckily she and I are both not big impulse buyers, but I think we are going to take it slow - after all we got probably at least a year for the engagement to work through all this stuff. I have also had my eye's opened this week about our savings differences - I went "crazy" when I found out my girlfriend hadn't been contributing to her Roth IRA - I made her sign up for a monthly contribution plan of $50 to at least make sure she was putting some retirement money away. I think small steps are the key at this point. My fiancee and I began our initial conversations about this very topic this weekend. We all have plenty of time and figured we would take the first step by opening a joint savings account to save for future vacations.

I am really perplexed by the whole thing – it would be nice and easy to make everything joint – luckily she and I are both not big impulse buyers, but I think we are going to take it slow – after all we got probably at least a year for the engagement to work through all this stuff.

I have also had my eye’s opened this week about our savings differences – I went “crazy” when I found out my girlfriend hadn’t been contributing to her Roth IRA – I made her sign up for a monthly contribution plan of $50 to at least make sure she was putting some retirement money away.

I think small steps are the key at this point.

]]> By: Matt http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/creating-joint-banking-accounts-for-married-couples.html/comment-page-1#comment-16221 Matt Mon, 21 Aug 2006 09:06:24 +0000 http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/creating-joint-banking-accounts-for-married-couples.html#comment-16221 My fiancee and I have a somewhat complicated arrangement. There's my money, there's her money, and there's also OUR money. We already have a prenuptual agreement executed, with a rider describing how our relative stakes in the house we're buying will be divided up if we split. (The house gets sold, with the proceeds being used to first pay off any remaning mortgage, then repay her contribution to the down payment in full, and then the remainder split between us pro-rata according to the proportion we each contributed to mortgage payments and house-maintenance costs.) On the other hand, we both have more to protect than a lot of marrying couples. I own three profitable-but-illiquid businesses. She has a high-six-figures inheritance, two other houses, and a big chunk of undeveloped real estate in a still-expanding region. All these contracts and arrangements do is codify the declarations we've already made to each other...that I'm not in this to steal the cash her grandfather left her, and she's not in this to steal the fruit of my ideas away from me. Such declarations, however heartfelt in good times, tend to get forgotten when/if things fall apart. Losing her would be painful enough...I don't want to have to lose everything I've spent my life building and start over from scratch as well, if she ever decides she doesn't love me anymore. I don't assume our system would necessarily work well for others. For example, if your wife or wife-to-be has a serious jealousy issue, she might object to the concept of you having some seperate funds. But I will say that, to not have sufficient jointly-held funds to cover ordinary expenses would be, to me anyway, a sign of a lack of financial commitment. My fiancee and I already have a jointly-owned checking account, and once we're living in the same house, it'll be the primary avenue for household cashflow. As far as I'm concerned, the only thing to buy with seperate funds is gifts, and things big enough (and personal enough) that you'll expect to take them with you in a break-up. My fiancee and I have a somewhat complicated arrangement. There’s my money, there’s her money, and there’s also OUR money. We already have a prenuptual agreement executed, with a rider describing how our relative stakes in the house we’re buying will be divided up if we split. (The house gets sold, with the proceeds being used to first pay off any remaning mortgage, then repay her contribution to the down payment in full, and then the remainder split between us pro-rata according to the proportion we each contributed to mortgage payments and house-maintenance costs.)

On the other hand, we both have more to protect than a lot of marrying couples. I own three profitable-but-illiquid businesses. She has a high-six-figures inheritance, two other houses, and a big chunk of undeveloped real estate in a still-expanding region. All these contracts and arrangements do is codify the declarations we’ve already made to each other…that I’m not in this to steal the cash her grandfather left her, and she’s not in this to steal the fruit of my ideas away from me. Such declarations, however heartfelt in good times, tend to get forgotten when/if things fall apart. Losing her would be painful enough…I don’t want to have to lose everything I’ve spent my life building and start over from scratch as well, if she ever decides she doesn’t love me anymore.

I don’t assume our system would necessarily work well for others. For example, if your wife or wife-to-be has a serious jealousy issue, she might object to the concept of you having some seperate funds.

But I will say that, to not have sufficient jointly-held funds to cover ordinary expenses would be, to me anyway, a sign of a lack of financial commitment. My fiancee and I already have a jointly-owned checking account, and once we’re living in the same house, it’ll be the primary avenue for household cashflow. As far as I’m concerned, the only thing to buy with seperate funds is gifts, and things big enough (and personal enough) that you’ll expect to take them with you in a break-up.

]]> By: thc http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/creating-joint-banking-accounts-for-married-couples.html/comment-page-1#comment-15503 thc Sat, 19 Aug 2006 15:15:06 +0000 http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/creating-joint-banking-accounts-for-married-couples.html#comment-15503 Jim: Eryka has it (mostly) right and you have it backwards. Single accounts would be frozen in the event of death or incapacity but not accounts titled as "joint tennants with rights of survivorship" (Jt Ten WROS). If you live in one of the nine community property state such as California, you should consider titling accounts as "Community Property WROS". That's my advice as a CFP. My advice as someone who's been married for 20 years is to give up the yours/mine stuff as soon as you can and learn to trust one another with money issues. Multiple bank accounts are a waste of time and a source of friction. Jim: Eryka has it (mostly) right and you have it backwards. Single accounts would be frozen in the event of death or incapacity but not accounts titled as “joint tennants with rights of survivorship” (Jt Ten WROS). If you live in one of the nine community property state such as California, you should consider titling accounts as “Community Property WROS”.

That’s my advice as a CFP.

My advice as someone who’s been married for 20 years is to give up the yours/mine stuff as soon as you can and learn to trust one another with money issues. Multiple bank accounts are a waste of time and a source of friction.

]]> By: fivecentnickel.com http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/creating-joint-banking-accounts-for-married-couples.html/comment-page-1#comment-15374 fivecentnickel.com Sat, 19 Aug 2006 05:50:50 +0000 http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/creating-joint-banking-accounts-for-married-couples.html#comment-15374 <strong>Weekly Roundup - 08/18/06</strong> Here’s a quick rundown of some posts that caught my eye over the past week… JLP wants to know what your inbox says about you. Me? I have 2119 messages in my inbox. Just like JLP, I ascribe this to laziness (and a healthy dose of being ove... Weekly Roundup – 08/18/06

Here’s a quick rundown of some posts that caught my eye over the past week…

JLP wants to know what your inbox says about you. Me? I have 2119 messages in my inbox. Just like JLP, I ascribe this to laziness (and a healthy dose of being ove…

]]> By: Amanda http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/creating-joint-banking-accounts-for-married-couples.html/comment-page-1#comment-15313 Amanda Fri, 18 Aug 2006 17:16:01 +0000 http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/creating-joint-banking-accounts-for-married-couples.html#comment-15313 I think that ultimately it is a very subjective decision you will have to make. No one setup will work for every couple. My husband and I have both joint and separate accounts - it gives us some autonomy, but we are still of the mind that all of it is "our" money. I think that ultimately it is a very subjective decision you will have to make. No one setup will work for every couple. My husband and I have both joint and separate accounts – it gives us some autonomy, but we are still of the mind that all of it is “our” money.

]]> By: Nick http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/creating-joint-banking-accounts-for-married-couples.html/comment-page-1#comment-15311 Nick Fri, 18 Aug 2006 16:50:38 +0000 http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/creating-joint-banking-accounts-for-married-couples.html#comment-15311 "Let’s face reality here, over 50% of marriages end in divorce and while I hope this doesn’t happen to you, should it happen you will both need your own credit histories and financial accounts. Often, it is women who end up losing the ability to acquire credit after a divorce because of the lack of adequate credit history." http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/d/divorce.htm That's not really reality. It may be true if you only account for a marriage ending in death or divorce, but is that really meaningfull? Most marriages that don't end in divorce last 20+ years, whereas divorce can happen at any time so you are basically comparing all successfull marriages that started a long time ago to all other marriages that have occured over that time frame. http://www.divorcereform.org/rates.html http://www.divorcemag.com/statistics/statsUS.shtml “Let’s face reality here, over 50% of marriages end in divorce and while I hope this doesn’t happen to you, should it happen you will both need your own credit histories and financial accounts. Often, it is women who end up losing the ability to acquire credit after a divorce because of the lack of adequate credit history.”

http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/d/divorce.htm

That’s not really reality. It may be true if you only account for a marriage ending in death or divorce, but is that really meaningfull? Most marriages that don’t end in divorce last 20+ years, whereas divorce can happen at any time so you are basically comparing all successfull marriages that started a long time ago to all other marriages that have occured over that time frame.

http://www.divorcereform.org/rates.html

http://www.divorcemag.com/statistics/statsUS.shtml

]]> By: Him http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/creating-joint-banking-accounts-for-married-couples.html/comment-page-1#comment-15301 Him Fri, 18 Aug 2006 15:03:25 +0000 http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/creating-joint-banking-accounts-for-married-couples.html#comment-15301 Yeah, we have a <a href="http://www.makelovenotdebt.com/cgi-bin/MT/mt-search.cgi?search=joint+account" rel="nofollow">few posts about this</a> on our blog. I don't think you have to go all joint accounts or all individual accounts. We have a joint account that pays the rent, groceries, etc. We divert a a some cash into our individual accounts for our "play money," money that we can spend on WHATEVER we want. If I want to get wasted and spend $100 on drinks, that comes out of my account, and Her can't say anything about it. On the other hand, if Her wants an expensive pair of shoes, she can buy then without a "tsk tsk" from me. I'd say do whatever works for you. You can always change your mind. Just remember to communicate! Yeah, we have a few posts about this on our blog.

I don’t think you have to go all joint accounts or all individual accounts. We have a joint account that pays the rent, groceries, etc. We divert a a some cash into our individual accounts for our “play money,” money that we can spend on WHATEVER we want. If I want to get wasted and spend $100 on drinks, that comes out of my account, and Her can’t say anything about it. On the other hand, if Her wants an expensive pair of shoes, she can buy then without a “tsk tsk” from me.

I’d say do whatever works for you. You can always change your mind. Just remember to communicate!

]]> By: FMF http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/creating-joint-banking-accounts-for-married-couples.html/comment-page-1#comment-15300 FMF Fri, 18 Aug 2006 14:54:16 +0000 http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/creating-joint-banking-accounts-for-married-couples.html#comment-15300 Check out this: <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.freemoneyfinance.com/2006/07/money_and_marri.html">Money and Marriage: A Discussion No One Agrees On</a> <strong>[Edited the URL, and if FMF wasn't my dear good friend I would've called this spam. :)]</strong> Check out this:

Money and Marriage: A Discussion No One Agrees On

[Edited the URL, and if FMF wasn't my dear good friend I would've called this spam. :) ]

]]> By: jim http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/creating-joint-banking-accounts-for-married-couples.html/comment-page-1#comment-15298 jim Fri, 18 Aug 2006 14:45:31 +0000 http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/creating-joint-banking-accounts-for-married-couples.html#comment-15298 Randy - Great thoughts, thanks! CK - Trust isn't an issue and in fact, Randy brought this too, I didn't think about the inconveniences that would arise as a result of NOT having joint accounts... those headaches might be larger than the small one of changing account info is now. Rich, Karen - Communication is key, the only reason for separate savings accounts was because she believed that in the event of something bad (death, i don't know what else) there is a possibility that joint assets would be frozen or something. I've never looked into it so I don't really know. I think after some of these comments we might expand the joint nature of the accounts beyond the checking... Randy – Great thoughts, thanks!

CK – Trust isn’t an issue and in fact, Randy brought this too, I didn’t think about the inconveniences that would arise as a result of NOT having joint accounts… those headaches might be larger than the small one of changing account info is now.

Rich, Karen – Communication is key, the only reason for separate savings accounts was because she believed that in the event of something bad (death, i don’t know what else) there is a possibility that joint assets would be frozen or something. I’ve never looked into it so I don’t really know.

I think after some of these comments we might expand the joint nature of the accounts beyond the checking…

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