Comments on: Daycare vs. Stay At Home: A Mom’s Perspective

By: Mattko

Mattko — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 16:27:56 +0000

I would like to know the kids stay home get bully easily by the kids who go to daycare??

By: beth

beth — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 03:37:51 +0000

This article talks about the parents———-what about the children??????
Interesting use of phrase the “orphanage.” Children go in the morning, eat breakfast at day care and often have to eat dinner there also. I wonder how many parents actually do the research about the day cares available or chose for price or location? What about the children?????

By: Kelly

Kelly — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 00:22:36 +0000

Thank you J’s Mom for the comment!

We were in similar shoes when we had our first, my husband’s job was at Lenscrafters so he had “mall hours,” which meant anywhere from 9am-10pm he could be working and it changed every week, and every day!

Without having a 2nd car, and quality daycare it just seemed impossible to go to work at that point.

He’s in the corporate world now and things aren’t exactly 9-5 all the time. Deadlines need meeting, things break and need fixing, etc. It’s enough to keep up with one full-time job for us for now.

By: J's Mom

J's Mom — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 04:54:38 +0000

Staying home is viewed by many as a luxury- when quality childcare is hard to find and expensive when it is found, this baffles me. I have a bachelor’s degree, but I’m the lucky kind of single mother- the kind where my husband works ridiculously long and random hours to cover the bills, but all the rest falls to me. Many military parents find themselves in a similar position when their spouses are deployed. Though I’d love to work part-time for the sake of sanity and my resume, my husband and I can’t afford to put my son in daycare of any kind, even two days a week, on one income. This makes finding a job, even a freelance or a part-time job, difficult.

Thank you, by the way, for including the parent/child temperament as another factor in determining whether daycare is appropriate. Some kids just aren’t ready until 4 or 5, some are ready at 3 months. As a parent, it may seem ludicrous to postpone one’s return to work because a 2 or 3 year old isn’t ready for school…until you’ve seen a child who isn’t ready or is in the wrong class.

Thank you for your insightful article.

By: Kelly

Kelly — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 00:53:00 +0000

Thanks for all the comments!

Bryce, when I had 1 child I was firmly in the stay at home camp, but since I’ve had more children, and met AMAZING moms who work at home, part-time, or full-time I definitely think there is no one size fits all approach!

I’m itching to get to work, so for now freelancing, and blogging are my outlets.

That approach also applies to our school choices, by the way, we have 1 homeschooled, and 2 in public school. Talk about a conflict!

Lauren summed it up nicely, whatever makes mom (or dad) happy is the best thing for everyone.

By: Bryce

Bryce — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 17:42:56 +0000

Great article! While I fall into the work outside of the home camp, I think you did a great job at expressing both sides.

What resonated with me most was the “what works today, may not work tomorrow” line. That’s one thing I’ve learned is certain since becoming a mother!

By: Sara

Sara — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 14:58:01 +0000

4. Mingus, you are so right. After I lost my job, I was miserable. Then, I started searching the net for stories like this, job ideas and so on. Now, I have a little home business, time to be with my kids, go to the gym, see friend and I am really happy.
PS. I also got hooked to those freebie sites, and there are so many good offers out there. Ladies, you should check this one out – $1000 of free cash I just got yesterday: http://www.mediancs.com/rd_p?p=192462&t=9534&a=25081-scash&gift=25081

By: Janesville Daycare

Janesville Daycare — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 03:28:35 +0000

This is a wonderful article. It was quite comprehensive.

By: Andrew

Andrew — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 15:51:28 +0000

Yes, but if the low-wage spouse gave up working for wages and stayed home with the kids, they could save that expense. So that’s why it makes sense to look at whether the low-wage spouses wages cover daycare or not.

By: Lauren J

Lauren J — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 10:28:15 +0000

I’ve worked in Daycare, preschool, as a nanny, and now am a mother of a 6yo. I chose to stay home, but have always told the parents I work with, and my friends, that if they would be happier working, then go work!! The best thing for a child is a happy parent. It’s hard to be a happy parent if staying home makes you miserable. And if my working friends are miserable in their jobs, then THEY aren’t happy parents, and I tell them that it’s time to look very carefully at what path they are taking, and maybe it’s time to make changes. Thanks for the post Kelly!!

By: Rob O.

Rob O. — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 02:03:56 +0000

Not only would staying at home be a poorer fit for my son, but I’ll be honest enough to admit that it would not suit me well either. If I were honestly seeking what’s best for my family, I’d also hafta seriously question whether I’d be a good fit for stay-at-home parenting. I’m no social butterfly but I do need interaction. I work very well in a team setting and with well-defined goals. I believe I’d go stir crazy if I tried to stay at home long-term.

By: Kelly

Kelly — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 01:45:20 +0000

Kristin, I completely understand what you mean. Most people live just within their means, so even looking at it as part of a the larger budget won’t net them different results.

Ron, great question! I’m not well versed in social security, but I’ll look into it and get back to you.

Nick, I agree with you completely. But in my case, and many other stay-at-home parents I know they either don’t have a career that grows in that manner. In my case I was a college student, so I didn’t have a career to worry about.

And the fantastic thing about staying at home, is most of the parents I know, including myself are afforded an opportunity to find and follow their passion.

Miss M, Mr M will be part of a new wave of dads staying at home. Like your mom said, you have to make sure the parent is suited to the job, because it’s not just about the numbers.

By: Miss M @ M is for Money

Miss M @ M is for Money — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 19:47:15 +0000

This weekend I was talking with my mom about the cost of daycare and how Mr M will probably move into the role of SAHD due to the cost in Los Angeles. I pointed out that he doesn’t earn enough for us to come out ahead while paying for daycare. My mom said it didn’t make sense for them either but she couldn’t stand being a stay at home parent (with apologies to me)! She had done a similar analysis back in the day and in her case was only bringing home $15 a week once you accounted for daycare, but still preferred it to being home all day. Obviously this sort of analysis is never cut and dry and even when the numbers show one thing, parents make the opposite choice for their own reasons.

By: Nick

Nick — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 19:39:15 +0000

I think a drawback of staying at home that tends to be overlooked is how negatively all the time off impacts your long term career future. Taking 10 years off from work basically kills your career. Even if the cost of daycare (plus work related expenses) = the amount you’d earn from work, in the long run just working those years and breaking even will increase your earning potential once the kids are done with daycare. That doesn’t address all the things you miss by having kids in daycare, but I think people tend to worry to much about the short term financial implications without considering all of the long term implications.

By: Ron

Ron — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 19:25:52 +0000

Very nice piece Kelly – you did a great job nailing down all the important factors one should consider. My wife is a stay-at-home-Mom after working the past 20 years in well paying jobs. We have a 1 and 3 year old and we would not trade their home and social lives for anything. I work full time and lucky enough to have military retirement income. I do have one question: My wife has possibly 25 years until retirement and if she decides not to return to the workforce for the next 10 years or so, will her potential Social Security benefit be reduced significantly? We are already noticing her SS statements are reflecting less and less every year. Can this be made up or is this the price one pays?