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Could Fighting Over Money Be Good for Your Finances?
Posted By Miranda Marquit On 01/02/2013 @ 12:10 pm In Family | 6 Comments
My husband and I don’t agree much about money. We have different spending priorities, and fights about what we should do with our money have been memorable over the course of the last 11 years. While we have some shared financial goals , much of what we spend money on — and the timing involved — is a source of contention in our marriage.
And, apparently, that can be a good thing.
Not too long ago, I was lamenting, after yet another argument about how I don’t want to pay for a storage unit just for the purpose of housing action figures my husband never looks at anyway (they’re currently in Rubbermaid bins in the crawl space), that my husband and I disagree a lot about money. I was wondering if this was a problem, since we’ve been disagreeing about money for almost 11 years.
Luckily, I came across a post on the blog of the Wall Street Journal  about how fighting about money can actually help your finances. The writer of the piece pointed out that when you always agree about money, it can lead you to miss opportunities, and it can also mean that your assumptions are never challenged. In the end, that can mean fewer financial options down the road.
Disagreeing about money, on the other hand, forces both members of a couple to re-asses their priorities, and to maybe even get out of their comfort zones a little bit. Even though I had serious buyer’s remorse when we bought our house a few years ago, I’ve started really enjoying it, and I’m glad we have a stable place to call home. And, thanks to my prodding sometimes, my husband understands that we can’t just buy a bunch of stuff all the time if we want a secure retirement.
Happily, even though we still disagree about money sometimes, my husband and I have moved on from the knock-down-drag-out fights of our early marriage. Now we are much more civil. Sometimes things still get heated, but it doesn’t get too loud anymore. A lot of it has to do with two things that we have started doing before things get out of hand:
Our disagreements about money have really encouraged us to re-examine our priorities as individuals and as a family. We haven’t let them destroy our marriage; instead, we are trying to use our disagreements to strengthen our marriage and our finances.
(Photo: Ed Yourdon )
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 shared financial goals: http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/marriage-killing-money-mistakes.html
 Wall Street Journal: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887323830404578145460898836432.html?mod=WSJ_PersonalFinance_PF15
 extracurricular activities: http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/choosing-extracurricular-activities.html
 Ed Yourdon: http://www.flickr.com/photos/yourdon/2573762303/
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