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Get A Stock Market Crystal Ball

Say you’re bad at picking stocks, then you certainly could make use of a crystal ball right? Well, the crystal ball on the left is now available for $31.99, with free shipping, from Amazon.com – a pittance compared to the original price of $149.99! See the future!

Actually, it’s not a crystal ball that can predict the future. It just changes colors based on whatever input you want to track, such as the Dow or something. I saw it, thought it was ridiculous, and had to make some stupid crystal ball joke about it.

The Orb will arrive automatically set to track the Dow Jones Industrial Average, glowing more green or red to indicate market movement up or down, or yellow when the market is calm. It can be customized to a set of free channels, such as market indices or weather in major cities. Optionally, you can upgrade to access more premium channels, such as your customized portfolio.