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How Comcast Will Regain Me As A Customer for $250

By now everyone knows the old adage that winning a new customer cost like five times (I forget the multiplier, but it’s significant) more than keeping an existing one but apparently the folks over at Comcast missed that less. Last month, my initial “promotional offer” with Comcast [3] expired which consisted of high speed internet and cable (plus premium channels I never watched) for $70-ish per month and the price skyrocketed to an unreasonable $130 a month. As usual, we did the annual “call Comcast and demand realistic rates” ritual and the accompanying dance of threatening to cancel. Well, after a couple of those, we were told to talk to Michele Smith, a retentions manager of some sort. I’m pretty convinced that these titles are all bullshit anyway and that they make them up (it’s not like there’s an organizational chart out there to prove someone is more than another random CSR). Anyway, we couldn’t reach Michele and we called one more time to the regular Comcast number and were escalated Melissa, apparently Michele’s peer. So, Melissa told me they could drop the price to $100 and that we’d have to pay that for six months before getting our original deal… which we thought was bullshit too. So, we threatened to cancel and they said sure.

For those of you who think $100 for internet and television is not that bad, especially compared to the $70 I was paying before, I just see $30 a month as another $360 of my money that I can’t spend on something else. Plus… read on to see why I’m willing to get “paid” $360 + $250 to re-enlist.

So, they lost my fiancĂ©e as a customer, we still have the cable active and I’m using wireless from my neighbors (they don’t mind) and so when the cable actually goes out, I’ll just sign up via ComcastSpecial.com [3] where I’ll get a fatty $100 rebate check, a free modem, a free wireless router, and the $20 internet promo rate for six months. That’s just for the internet, for signing up for the digital cable again, I’ll get a nice $75 bill credit as well.

So, instead of giving me $70 per month (a difference of $30 from the offer they were willing to give us), we will be pocketing $175, a $50 modem, and probably a $25 wireless router – a total of $250 in free stuff. $30 per month to keep me or $250 to win me back (plus I get the promotional rates), seems like a pretty easy decision – just not for the fools at Comcast.

Or I could take my business to Verizon [4].