If you’ve been to other countries, the “parent lottery” matters even more than it does here. Try being a Chinese kid born in the countryside versus being born to professional in Shanghai. There are many countryside kids who do well in gross numbers, but they are literally one in ten thousand. A kid born to well-off parents in Shanghai will have a far better chance in life, and won’t need quite so much luck and determination to make it.

If you want to equalize things in the US, work for school vouchers. Crappy schools in badly run school districts are keeping poor kids down as much as anything else.

But richer parents will always be able to offer intangibles to their kids that poor parents can’t or simply don’t know how to or aren’t aware of, starting with the idea that screwing up early is a bad thing and creates big hurdles that are hard to overcome.

When I was a kid, I grew up in a neighborhood with numerous Vietnamese immigrants. The ones that were educated professionals in Vietnam drove their kids to achieve massively, even though they didn’t have any money to start with. The ones that were from the lower classes in Vietnam did less well, although they still often did better than others. Since they all started out with $0, it was clearly about more than money – a lot of it was about knowing that there is a game to be played and education is a big part of it.

Clearly if you want to climb the social ladder, “educational signaling” is important. The “millionaire next door” strategy works for many, and there are a few Bill Gates figures out there, but the most straightforward path to success for a reasonably ambitious and bright kid starts at a more highly regarded college.

I was accepted by a number of excellent colleges but I couldn’t afford to actually attend them.

What is way more important than what school you go to, for most people in my experience, is getting some good “real world” working experience while your in school and being pro-active about looking for opportunities.

On the other hand, a good family can turn a vacation into an educational experience designed to make their children more “competitive”.

I also say that many state schools do just as well as prestigious institutions when it comes to undergraduate education.

I have someone close to me who sent each of their kids to the most expensive school they could get into, the kids have never paid a cent back-even when each of them received a very sizeable inheritence, and now the parents are worried that they won’t be able to retire. (oh and the kids became a stay at home mom, a special ed teacher, and an IT guy. . . . )

You don’t have to spend that kind of money to get a leg up in college applications. Whether your experiences are in a far-off land or close to home at the local food bank, you’re winning points with admissions. You’ll gain something unique from each of those two situations. If your only goal is to make you appear more attractive to colleges, then you’re spending the money for the wrong reasons.

On a societal note to echo KMC’s thoughts if it takes $13k just for preparation to get into college, what happens to those who come from financially disadvantaged backgrounds? My parents could never have afforded that when i was growing up. Does that mean I don’t deserve to go college? Clearly, I don’t believe you need that but it does make it more difficult for people without the cash to burn.

But seriously, I have to agree. And I don’t think it’s “unfair” at all. Her parents sacrificed to save money and spend it on their child’s future.

So instead of going on vacations and buying a sports car, they decided to spend it on their daughter’s education. Nothing wrong with that.

(of course now the daughter owes them…)