Comments on: Should Married Couples Combine Finances?

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 19:22:16 +0000

I was single for ten years and married now for that same amount. We talked about Finances before we got married, and we both agreed that seperate accounts would mean less arguements over money. We are simply two independent people which equals a healthy relationship. each month, he provides 1/2 for the living expenses (which is evaluated each year based on a budget of fixed and estimated variable for groceries, etc.). So, being single for so long, the financial benefits are there and i can appreciate them because it’s less and i can save more. I made a little more than him, but in time his salary went up…which made him strive to education. He is a spender and I’m a save type personality so it all works out, there are rarely arguements about money. If there is a major repair on the home, etc. we split it right down..gifts and nights out are more appreciated cuz it’s almost like dating, not oh…it was on my dime earned or whatever. I’ve been married before, and this was definetly the way to go…it feels like a real partnership! But of course, there’s no kids and to each it’s own…this works for us!

By: Mark

Mark — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 12:03:28 +0000

He is the one with debt, and you are the one with significant nest egg. You are, not he, is going to be the head of the household. You should tell him that he will have to take on your last name also since you are the one that is carrying him. He is to be the “wife” and you are to be the “man” of the house.

By: Mark

Mark — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 11:53:20 +0000

Joining accounts officially should not occur until the actual marriage, unless you got a kid together or something. Engagement is not enough.

By: Mark

Mark — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 11:51:43 +0000

I like the idea that my money is mine, and hers is hers. If she drowns in debt, I want none of it, and I want to keep my nest egg to myself. Thank god for dual citizenship, I can offshore my money in my other country where I have not registered my marriage and keep it away from her.

By: Mark

Mark — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 11:47:07 +0000

Why are you even marrying a man who can only make half of what you make. This is not just a bit less, this is a lot less. Lady, I hope he changed his last name to yours when you got married and you, not him are the head of the household.

By: Mark

Mark — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 11:41:51 +0000

You having a son from a previous marriage is actually the reason why he should keep it separate. Why should he be taking care of a seed that does not belong to him? Also, if you have a partner who is paying child support, you better keep your finances separate in case it gets raided by the previous spouse for extraordinary expenses that should not be the problem of the current spouse.

By: shadoo97

shadoo97 — Thu, 21 Jul 2011 06:23:28 +0000

Sorry Joe, but I am being faced with the problem where I need to have separate accounts from my husband. He makes significantly less than I do, and for years I have “carried” expenses he would be unable to afford on his salary. The way we divided expenses is based on a percentage. Since he contributes 35% of the household income, he is responsible for 35% of household expenses, while I am responsible for the difference. These funds are deposited in a joint account exclusively for bills. I’m not sure if this is the best way, but it seems to be the only way he will become aware that his taste is a bit too expensive for what he makes.

By: Slinky

Slinky — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 20:35:50 +0000

I think it’s his expectation that he will make all the decisions on his own that is entirely unreasonable. He should have asked how you wanted to handle things and compromised. He should have asked if the two of you can use ‘your’ savings to pay off ‘his’ debt.

He has to ‘factor you into his other main priorities’, but he also has to factor in you being your own person with their own ideas, opinions, and dreams. Honestly, from what you’ve written (which I’m sure isn’t the whole story), he sounds like he’s approaching your marriage and decision making like a dictator and not a partner.

By: wheels2heels

wheels2heels — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 23:46:42 +0000

Seriously, dump this loser!1
DO NOT LET HIM MANIPULATE YOU!
Do not be a sucker!!

By: sheryl

sheryl — Fri, 11 Mar 2011 19:11:05 +0000

okay, I was married for 20 years my first husband passed away in an industrial accident, we shared our finances, I stayed home with the kids and worked odd jobs here and there to help out the Family budget, there was never a his money or her money..all the money went into the household and we both tried to make sure the other had money to enjoyt their own hobbies, ect…and when money was tight both sacrificed money spent in those categories, money was a joint partenership experience. Neither of us had seperate accounts. And I know in the state of Pa..if there is a joint acoount the money in the account goes to the surviving spouse…anything with both names on it is devied up that way…the problem would have arise had my husband had his own accounts…had vehicles in just his name..ect ect…
Fast forward now 8 years, I am now remarried, gave up a widow’s pension my new husband has a completely different attitude about money, he believes his money is his money, my money was his money ..and he is in control of it all. I see major marital issues coming about because of it ..not to mention the horror I will face should something happen to him and all of my possessions become part of the estate..what a mess.
Talk about money BEFORE you get married and if someone is unwilling to talk about it..take that as a big red flag, I am sure he and I will work this situation out…I have extreme faith…
remember all the money in the world can not replace the peace of being in a marriage with a fantastic partner.

By: Sarker

Sarker — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 22:20:20 +0000

Wow life is funny. I can’t help laughing while I read this post. My wife and I are married for two years and she feels that I should pay for all household expenses as well even though she does earn decent money at her job. She chooses to deposit all of the money she earns in her own separate account. I don’t like to pay for everything since I don’t get to save much. Unfortunately, the only thing I get to save is what goes into my 401(k). I guess it works out since she came into the marriage with 150k and I had -20k. She gave me 10k to invest in a joint brokerage and paid off my debt. I manage her IRA, individual brokerage account and she pays for any bills if my paycheck does not cover the monthly bills. I think she is building up this massive cash savings so she has plenty of cash when she gets unhappy and decides to leave me. In the long run I guess having things separate gives you decision making power.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 22:18:28 +0000

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 21:55:02 +0000

If you can both sign on accounts it is not separate it is all joint.

By: Divine Intervention

Divine Intervention — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 01:57:09 +0000

Hi Deirdra,
I recently read that it’s better to keep your accounts separate because your credit will definitely suffer if you combine with joint accounts because creditors will include his credit history with yours if you comingle accounts.

If he truly loves you, he will understand and not try to make you feel guilty for staying separate. Remember your history and his stay separate as long as you keep separate accounts. Stay well. D.I.

By: Deirdra

Deirdra — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 14:32:45 +0000

Thanks “Divine Intervention”. The conversations continue but sadly we are having difficulty closing the gap and moving forward. Not sure how things will end up but thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts.