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Synthetic Diamond Engagement Rings
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When I read this question about “fake” engagement rings, I was pretty surprised. Essentially a young man wants to get his girlfriend a nice engagement rings but can’t afford a “real” diamond yet so he was going to buy her a synthetic diamond and then make the swap later. What he wants to know is whether he should tell her or just make the Indiana Jones type swap when she’s not paying attention. Okay, I may have laughed when I read how ludicrous of a question this was, in part because of the deception and in part because of the emphasis on “real” vs. “fake” (synthetic).
Obviously the experts tell him to be truthful with his girlfriend, you had to have seen that coming (especially since it’s a column about ethics), but I want to address the idea of synthetic diamonds. By synthetic diamonds, I mean diamonds that are lab created and not nature created; I don’t consider actually fake diamonds, like QVC’s Diamonique®, to be synthetic. Lab created diamonds are actual diamonds except they are absolutely perfect and generally cheaper than naturally occurring diamonds.
Considering that the concept of the diamond engagement ring was a creation of De Beers, does it really matter, I mean when it really comes down to it, how much it costs? That’s really the only distinguishing feature between a synthetic diamond and a real diamond – the cost. Does your love mean any more or less because the diamond was created by a guy in a lab coat or eons of pressure? Probably not.
Your fiancee’s (or your) friends will still oogle over the ring, oblivious to its actual origin (no one will ask for the diamond’s birth certificate because no one will care) because that doesn’t matter. Most are just caught up in the excitement of another engagement and ultimately, the ring is only a small part of the bigger picture.
Personally, I didn’t get a synthetic diamond because it never entered my mind as an option, probably because De Beers and the diamond cartel has me, along with a whole bunch of other people, thoroughly brainwashed. 
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Actual synthetic diamonds are as expensive if not more expensive than “real” diamonds. I feel like the guy was trying to pass off cubic zirconium or something.
First, the creation of actual synthetic diamonds have not been perfected in order for the price to be more attractive than a real diamond created by nature. Second, I would strongly not recommend any type of synthetic, enhanced or most certainly not a CZ for an engagement ring. Leave the cheap stones for Valintine’s Day or other events in your life. Otherwise, you’ll regret it for the rest of you life. Especially, when someone with a train eye notices a CZ in your brides ring!
I wouldn’t have any problem buying a synthetic diamond, as it is still a diamond. But I would also be honest with my fiance about the situation and tell her that for the same money, I could buy her a nicer stone. Or give her the option of having a smaller ‘real diamond.’ Many women are understanding and care more about the fact they are getting an engagement ring than what the stone rating is – as long as it looks nice!
That said, I would stay away from CZ unless that is all you can afford. Then, your fiance just has to understand the situation. If she doesn’t, then it might be time to reconsider buying any ring.
I saw that same question from that guy…too funny. Anyway, I’ve been married for quite awhile now and with hindsight, I sometimes think I should have gone ahead and bought my wife the cubic zirconia (or better facsimilie) and saved the money we spent on the ring. My wife feels the same way. We cherish the symbolism of the ring…not the rock itself (although it is shiny and pretty).
Hey that is a good way to start out a marriage, with a lie! What the hell? I wish all females did not care about real vs. fake but there is so much prestige put upon the ring. When the day comes, I will have saved and probably buy a modest real ring. It is just too important to most women to fake. Kind of shallow huh?…it is only a piece of rock out of the ground. Oh how we love traditions.
“Diamonds — it’ll shut ‘er up” – Ron White.
This reminds me of a friend’s wife, who couldn’t wear her engagement ring while she was pregnant so she picked up an inexpensive CZ and got rave reviews from family and friends. I think she kept wearing it after she gave birth!
I have a “high-quality” CZ that cost $7 on a platinum mounting. High-quality because I didn’t buy it from Wally World or QVC, but from a jeweler who specializes in fake gems, and it’s precision cut with the same tools used on a “real” diamond.
A few times, I’ve got it cleaned at different national chain stores, and they gush about how beautiful my “diamond” is. You should see the look on their faces when I tell them it’s CZ.
I can’t justify spending that kind of money because of silly marketing brainwashing and fabricated traditions. In fact, it’s such a hot button with me that I did a whole presentation for one of my MBA classes about DeBeers and diamonds — have to give them props for their marketing tactics, though — pure genius!
Thankfully, I did not have to worry about what to buy for my wife when I proposed because I was able to give her a family diamond that used to belong to my mother.
It was much nicer than anything I could have afforded, whether natural or synthetic, and my wife loves it.
My engagement ring gets rave reviews from everyone. It’s neither a diamond, nor “real”. It’s a ‘created’ sapphire. Only one person has ever asked anything about it. My fiancee’s aunt who lives in a rather ‘posh’ neighborhood asked what part of the world it came from. I told her I hadn’t asked. (true)
I love the stone more then I ever could a real diamond, and we got a fancier setting that is absolutely gorgeous. (The band cost more than the stone.) My fiancee and I both think it’s kind of cool that they can create stones, and we got the exact shade of blue that we wanted.
Maybe it is because I am a scientist but I love the idea of synthetic diamonds. The idea that they are of less quality only has to do with the level of pressure put on the carbon during its creation. In nature diamonds are created in the absence of atmospheric gases such as nitrogen, but when they are created in the lab nitrogen is readily available. Nitrogen causes diamonds to turn yellow. Naturally occurring diamonds that are yellow are very expensive, but synthetically they are much less expensive. Over time as the technology improves synthetic diamonds will be even less expensive then they are today.
Anyone that tells you synthetic diamonds have more impurities than natural diamonds are full of crap. DeBeers created a machine that determines a natural diamond from a synthetic one, but the way it determines natural diamonds is to look for impurities! Physically there is nothing different between natural occurring and synthetic diamonds except that the latter is much cleaner birthplace.
I have always thought of diamonds as an industrial commodity for drill bits but girls like shiny things. I plan on getting my girlfriend a CZ ring and eventually changing to a synthetic diamond stone because of my awe in the refraction of light though a diamond.
I like to joke that I’ll buy my fiancee a wrought iron ring, as a symbol that our love is not for show.
It is not what it costs – it is what it is about – love – quality would not be important to me – quantity (love) would be! I am in fact shopping right now for a ring as I am planning a wedding and there is no way we are spending what I have spend in my previous marriage on a ring. As I said it is what it is about – where it came from is – from the heart!
I think theat it is more important that the ring be something that the woman chooses and is affordable to the man than if it is a real diamond or not. I recently proposed to my fiancee, who went with me weeks before and chose the ring she wanted, which I believe is more important than what the rock is made out of.
The ring that’s best is the one you can both agree on.
Buying an engagement ring used to be what one did only if there was no family ring available.
My wife’s ring is tanzanite, with 2 very small diamonds flanking it. She didn’t want me to spend a lot of money, and I was totally on board with that idea).
Plus, it’s her favorite color.
As for synthetic vs. “real” diamonds, if the price difference is negligible, there may be some value to the buyer in knowing that the stone wasn’t sourced from a mine in a 3rd-world country using slave labor, etc. Yes, there are clean diamond mining operations as well, but you do have to shop carefully to get one from such a source.
Reading the comments, I was surprised that nobody touched on the ethics side of this issue, especially with all the recent publicity on how the diamond market fuels violence and terrorism abroad. Anyone who has read Blood Diamond, or even seen the movie, should realize that De Beers doesn’t “deserve props” for anything.
For me, I would rather buy a synthetic stone and know that I did not finance some warmonger who chops the limbs off of African children. What kind of symbolism is that??
I would rather have a platinum ring with ‘insert stone of your choice here’ in, than a diamond and say gold or silver ring. (Actually if someone got me a yellow gold engagement ring I think the answer would be ‘no’, not because they aren’t nice but because its not me at all).
I think that synthetic diamonds are fine (and probably more ethical unless yours is second-hand) but you have to tell the person wearing it that its synthetic. Its pretty cool that they can create diamonds in a lab really and I see no reason why De Beers should get any money.
I have both a real diamond and a synthetic diamond. I wear the synthetic one most of the time because I like the look of the setting. I worked in a jewelry store for a while, so I can usually tell the difference in a real and synthetic diamond. In fact, one time I was at an auction and they told me that a diamond was real and I told them it wasn’t. They insisted it was. Finally, they came back to me and apologized and told me it wasn’t. lol
P.S. When I looking for a synthetic diamond, I made certain to get one at 1 carat or smaller. So many times people are looking for czs and other lab created diamonds that are huge. The huge ones scream that they’re fake.
Oops, I meant to put lab created in there instead of synthetic. Sorry.
I’m amazed that synthetic diamonds don’t cost much less than real diamonds. Seems like I read that they only cost about 15% less. You can usually talk a diamond jeweler 25-30% down off their price.
do synthetic diamonds cost less than real diamonds now? I didn’t know that, they used to be more expensive.
I don’t see what the difference is between synthetic diamond and mined diamonds. A synthetic diamond is not a fake diamond, it’s a real diamond. When people buy gold jewelry, do they differentiate between whether it came directly from a mine, or melted down from “recycled” gold?
Dean, no but it takes a seed to do lab diamonds. so lab v. natural is more like the difference between cultured and natural pearls rather than the gold example you gave.
lab diamonds are still pricey in the larger sizes; moreover, manufacturing them hasn’t become too cost effective right now.
I am really considering a synthetic ring. I love the fact that it is make by scientists. My main issue with buying a real diamond ring is the simple fact of all the suffering for a stupid ring, that doesn’t even symbolize how much my significant other loves me. It’s not the money we are worried about, it’s more the thought of how many families go through strife for our happiness in the states. We have also considered diamonds from Canada, but i really just love the fact that the diamond is made in a lab. So all those women who say the diamonds shows how much he loves me, Whatever. It shouldn’t be about the money it should be how much you two love each other. Now u can ask my boyfriend I am very pricey.
I hope you get dumped! That is a sick and mean thing to do. I dumped my boyfriend when he gave me a fake ring and then told me its because he wanted to buy another car. GUYS ARE ALL SELFISH!
You hope she gets dumped b/c she’s okay with a synthetic diamond and isn’t concerned with the cost? I’d say you were the one who deserved to be dumped. Synthetic rings are still expensive, you know. It isn’t a CZ for Christ’s sake! I have told my boyfriend that I would actually prefer a synthetic diamond for environmental and social reasons, not to mention he’ll probably be able to get me the 3/4 of a carat I wanted as opposed to the 1/2. I think they’re great! Good for you, lilDaisy!
We have been looking at purchasing synthetic diamonds since our first trip to “look” at rings. I saw how expensive the real diamopnds were and taking into account the fact that I have alien-like fingers, I thought we were never going to be able to afford a real diamond ring that would be large enough to look nice and not like a chip. We have been doing research and looking at different retailers and sites and have been really happy with what we have seen so far. We haven’t purchased any rings yet but we know for sure they will be synthetic diamonds!
Ugh! DO NOT get a synthetic stone and tell your fiance it is a natural diamond. My fiance did this to me and I wish I had thrown the ring back in his face! He even had the audacity to blame my ‘high expectations’ for his deception. Any man willing to lie and cheap out on his bride before they are married will definitely do the same after the wedding.
Be honest. If the guy doesn’t have the money or doesn’t want to spend the money on a ring he feels will make his prospective fiancee happy, then they need to discuss it beforehand. She may surprise him and accept something that fits in his budget.
“She may surprise him and accept something that fits in his budget.”
Wow. I mean that’s just horrible. You should be ashamed of yourself. Seriously.
It’s so totally amusing to me that you chose “thriftychic” as your name…what a crock!
I do agree that lies are unnecessary though.
I agree with you. Its one thing if he is broke but its another thing if he can afford a nice ring but would rather spend his money on himself. Which is what happened to me. Being proposed to is one of the most important days in a girl’s life. If you cheap out with a ring thats not going to last long, neither will her love for you!.
Lies will never bring happiness but why should a man have to spend 3 months of his salary to buy a woman a stone to prove that he loves her.
This cultural norm is wrong. He shows you he loves you every day by putting up with your ass.
Fake rings are bull shit. Sorry but it is total shit. If you decide to marry a girl then you should give her the best that you can. My boyfriend wants to give me a fake ring so he can buy another car! I dumped him. Engagement is off. I think all the asshole who make these fake diamonds and convice guys to trick their girls should go to hell! Screw you all. Cars are more important than your girl? SICK
you dont deserve him nor do you deserve to find happiness with that kind of attitude!
If he tried to trick you then he should go to hell. However if he openly told you you, then even after depreciation of the vehicle, I think he might have made the right decision.
WOW you need to stop being a gold digger….i am getting married and i am seriously considering getting a “fake” diamond but that is because we are unable to afford a nice “real” diamond ring. Eventually we can change out the stone for a real one if i want, you can always do that. but reallllly you dumped your boyfriend because he wanted to give you a fake ring….bitch go get a job and buy your own damn diamond ring and quit being such a c***. there are way more important things in life then your dumb ass.
Look, I totally understand breaking up with someone who doesn’t consider my needs at all. “NO ring for you, the supposed love of my life, but I’m going to get MYSELF a new car?” That doesn’t sound like it’s about the money at all, it’s about a lack of consideration. An engagement ring is a token of eternal love. It is something that she will look at for the rest of her life and think of all the love that her and her husband share, the same with his wedding band. Honestly I wish that I could give my BOYFRIEND an engagement ring as well, but I guess that’s for the ceremony.
I’m sure she would have been fine with any ring if it hadn’t been followed up with, and now I’m going to spend 3 times as much on myself, you’re not worth it.
Absolutely i want a synthetic ring. Its cheaper now, and a “real” diamond is nothing but a deBeers construct – read the atlantic article detailing the marketing, as Jim referenced. Its all a scam! I’m helping us buy a house and lots of cute baby clothes instead of a tiny chunk of rock to wear on my finger because its a status symbol. “Fake” diamonds are still diamonds, and the fact that they dont have imperfections… who wouldnt want that anyway? And i’m getting a big one. Most people wouldnt know the difference if it stuck them in their eye anyway. There are more important things in life.
OK, I have been looking around on the internet, and have only found a few websites that sell “synthetic diamonds”. Gemesis, apollo, carat, and Sitara gems. they all seems to say something different about the way they make them. I’m wondering what website sells real, man made diamonds. Help!
I also have looked at synthetic diamonds and found another company that makes them, Diamond Nexus. I am not educated on how they are made, but they have some beautiful stones.
after studying about blood diamonds i have told my boyfriend that i absolutely do not want a mined diamond. I would be just as happy with a lab made diamond, after all, love is not about a ring on your finger, it’s about the things and ways he shows his love. And I would not want to pay a 100-200% markup for a rock that is not all that rare anyway. I think saying that a diamond ring shows his love is just shallow.
It continues to astonish me that so many women are blank minded when it comes to expecting a diamond. We live in a world where there are resources at our finger tips and yet so many people choose to stay uneducated. Unfortunately, these are the people who will buy conflict or blood diamonds and not know the difference. It’s hard for a man to spend three months of salary on a diamond ring because that’s what he’s suppose to do. If my boyfriend spent three month salary on a ring for me I would be livid… it would be beautiful but it would go down as the worse purchases he could make. We can afford the real thing but I could never admire a diamond I didn’t know for sure wasn’t the root cause of a poor child losing a hand or worse. You can ask for paperwork on the diamond in a store and most retailers would be happy to give you the information, but who’s to say the paperwork is real.
As for “fake” diamonds I am of the belief that the simulated diamonds are just that. If a man can only afford that so be it, he’s showing his love for you by wanting to spend the rest of his life with you…be grateful. I do believe that he should tell her to save her from an embarrassing trip to insure the ring or appraise it. Synthetic diamonds on the other hand are lab made diamonds. The technology has grown so much and now these diamonds are available at significantly lower prices than “real” diamonds. The lab diamonds are made up of the same properties and structure but are flawless….seems horrid right?! Lol. Lab diamonds cannot be classed as a “fake” diamond because they are real…just made in a lab.
We can’t stop the terror that happens in third world countries but shouldn’t we all try to do our part? To close up, if you want an earth grown diamond expect to spend lots and make sure you do your research on the company you are buying it from. If you go with a lab diamond well I say good for you! And now you have more money to spend on the big day. If you decide on the simulated diamond just make sure she’s modest enough to know it’s not the diamond that makes the marriage.