Your Take: Synthetic Diamond Engagement Rings
Is there still a stigma against “synthetic,” or man-made, diamonds?
Nearly a year ago I wrote about an ethically-sensitive fiance-to-be’s dilemma: should he buy a larger synthethic diamond engagement ring or go with a smaller but “real” diamond engagement ring? The experts naturally advised him to be honest but the question remains whether there still is a stigma over having a man-made diamond versus a Mother Earth-made diamond.
I think the movie Blood Diamond awakened many to the atrocities surrounding the mining of diamonds but I don’t think it has or can overcome the years of powerful marketing and “tradition.” (Many still drive SUVs, fail to recycle, and do other Earth-unfriendly things in the wake of An Inconvenient Truth) I bought a Mother Earth-made diamond (I was aware of the atrocities surrounding the mining of diamonds in certain areas of the world; for me, I wasn’t aware of man-made diamonds and so I never made a choice) for my man-made lovely wife to be, but given a choice I’m not sure what I’d do.
However ultimately (and sadly), it’s all about comparisons. When people with engagement rings get together, both men and women, the question of size, color, clarity, and cut always comes up. People say they aren’t comparing, but they are. Ladies want to know who has the biggest, sparkliest, etc. and men want to know who bought it. So which is better, a larger synthetic or a smaller natural? The ones with the larger synthetic can sleep knowing they have the larger one, the ones with the smaller natural can sleep knowing they have a real stone. (of course the real bottom line is that it doesn’t really matter, you can’t eat, live in, or drive a diamond)
What’s your take on diamond engagement rings, be it naturally occurring or man-made? Natural is best? Synthetic is best? Everyone is crazy about these sparkly stones and we should be focusing on other things? And when you get a chance, check out this Smithsonian article about how synthetic diamonds are now as good as real ones.
(And what’s up with diamonds anyway? If I was a woman, I’d prefer another gemstone with a little more color, life, vibrancy, character, I don’t know… but then again my opportunity to be different, my wedding ring, is a solid gold band so what do I know)
(Photo by fensterbme)
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Tags: Engagement Ring, Wedding, Your Take
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There are 18 comments, add your thoughts now!
I think it’s a matter of personal preference. As for the whole conflict-diamonds issue, most diamond sellers (at least the larger ones) by now ensure they don’t carry conflict diamonds. If it’s an issue to you, ask your jeweler - if they’re any good, they should be able to answer that question.
(BTW: Go with a jeweler. Don’t go with a mall store. I’m biased, since my wife is a jewelry designer, but if you want something truly unique, don’t buy where there are hundreds of rings of the same type)
As for why not more color in your wedding band: Keep in mind that you wear it for the rest of your life, and colored stones won’t go with every outfit. There’s your explanation
Also, if you want a bigger stone, but don’t want to go synthetic, Moissanite might be another option.
Agree w/ Robert that it’s just preference. I figure you should just get whatever you know the partner would like (or wouldn’t mind). It gets a bit tricky though, I think when you go with synthetic… I mean, how many different brands, labs are there? (Not that diamond buying itself isn’t tricky).
Diamond ring as a wedding “tradition” (born from marketing) really does make me ponder at times too. It’s so institutionalized that if you even suggest an alternative, people may think you’re just being cheap. But regardless, it is a symbol these days to commitment, romance, etc.; and I suppose its well worth the value associated with them.
When I got engaged I chose to have a 3 carat synthetic diamond and it looks fabulous. It was not really cheap as far as rings go. I could have gotten a half carat real diamond ring for the same price. But the bigger ring made the statement that I wanted. Also, there were the diamond issues, and not just with “blood diamonds”, but in the way Debeers creates this false demand on the market really bothers me as well. Whats funny is that I really don’t wear much in the way of jewelry but I really like this ring a lot.
When I bought my wife her engagement ring, I looked into synthetics. Since they are real diamonds I really had no objections to them and figured that going for more bang for the buck was a wiser financial decision (jewelry is a horrible investment).
Unfortunately at the time (~4 years ago), the only synthetics I could source were fancy colored diamonds. Even though they were substantially less expensive than a comparative natural fancy colored diamond, they were still way more expensive than a normal, colorless, natural diamond–which is what I ended up purchasing.
Were I to do it again and they were within my budget, I’d have no problem purchasing a synthetic.
I don’t like diamonds. I don’t find them attractive. I like emeralds, rubies, dark colored sapphires, etc. At any rate, my husband had a unique band ring (I hate the big rocks that stick up) designed for me with a small, very high quality (non blood) diamond in the center (because he felt we had to have a diamond) and an emerald on either side. I love my ring because it is different — designed just for me by an independent artisan — and because the diamond isn’t all that prominent.
I feel it’s too bad that we base our worth so often on how our “rock” compares with others’. And I’m even prey to it, because I feel good about how my ring is the opposite of every other ring I encounter.
I guess it really depends on the girl. The reason that I am buying a .55 carat diamond is because my girlfriend loves diamonds! I’ve told her that I am going to propose to her with a Ring Pop and she says that she will still marry me. The reason that I am getting that size is because it fits well with the ring that she wants. The reason I am getting yellow gold instead of white is because she hates rhodium plating.
The point is to make the girl happy, because if it was up to a guy then he would just buy her a 12-gauge and call it even. Honestly, if a guy had a choice, would he spend $2000+ on a tiny rock or a motorcycle?
I do think that there is a stigma against Synthetic vs Man Made. I would feel slightly cheap if I got a man made instead of a synthetic ring. Doesn’t really have the same appeal I guess, maybe it’s because I always hear, “Are those real?!” whenever people see diamonds. If they aren’t blood diamonds then why get a fake one? They aren’t cheaper that I can see.
Personally, I’ve always been suspicious of “tradition” that requires a purchase from a global monopoly.
I think the most important thing is to talk to your future-spouse and see what they think. I talked with mine about it, and we decided that synthetic was fine, and not what people would be looking for in a comparison.
Besides, it’s still a “real” diamond. It’s just not pulled out of the ground.
Diamond engagement rings only became the “traditional” engagement symbol as a result of an extensive marketing campaign by De Beers in the 1940s. The standard that an engagement ring should cost 2-3 months salary is also a consequence of this marketing campaign. People attach meaning to diamond engagement rings directly as a result of this campaign, and not because diamonds are inherently meaningful or symbolic. Diamonds aren’t even valuable by virtue of rarity, if you account for massive stockpiles around the world, new sources which are being found, and man made diamonds.
Perhaps we should break with “tradition” and think of more meaningful symbols of love. I personally wouldn’t wear a symbol of conflict and a result of the influence of good marketing as a symbol of my forthcoming marriage.
I would just as soon be happy without a diamond ring. Though if I were to get one I would prefer a small, conflict-free one of the real variety. However, this is not something that I really need to concern myself with at this point in my life. I would hope that if someone offered me a diamond ring (i.e. propose), he would know me well enough to know that I wouldn’t knowingly wear a blood stone.
I think it’s all personal preference, and when you’re looking at rings you should have a pretty good idea of what your fiance likes or take her shopping with you.
My engagement ring is a synthetic sapphire on a platinum band, which I love but don’t wear because it doesn’t sit well with my silver wedding band. Someday I’ll either have it sized up for a different finger or have it melted into a pendant.
I have a real diamond and I love it, but I told my husband in the future to buy the fake ones–they are beautiful! I know you can get some diamonds that aren’t ‘blood diamonds’, but why chance it? I will keep the one I have now,but no more for me in the future.
I think the whole engagement ring thing is overrated. If somebody is so worried about the size of their ring they might be getting married for the wrong reasons. I don’t need a ring to show my commitment to my husband.
as a chemist, the view that the “original”, flush with impurities, is more valuable than the pure synthetic seems to only be yet another of society’s hold on traditions that will only wash away with time (and the end of the a source of natural diamonds.) After all, it was only a sleek marketing ploy to establish the clear diamonds as the wedding band standard (I myself will insist on a little more flare.)
There is one merit to the “natural”s, though; their individual florescence “thumbprint” which is just damn cool. The smithsonian article is here - http://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/Glow-in-the-Dark_Jewels.html
the “tradition” to waste money on a diamond engagement ring is an invention of the diamond industry. I suppose the only rationale for throwing a ridiculous sum of money down the drain is the demonstrate that you are willing to thow money away in the pursuit of a marital relationship. An investment in an index fund would be more meaningful.
My girlfriend and I talked about this actually. She really prefers synthetic diamonds more than a real one.
Lets get real for a second here…places like nexus diamond offer GIA certified synthetic diamonds. The same ppl that rate the REAL diamonds. Also, unless your a certified diamond expert with expensive machines, you really can’t tell the difference between a real and synthetic diamond. The process to make these synthetics is the same as a natural diamond just much faster (therefore the minor flaws)
My girlfriend didn’t want to take the chance in getting a blood diamond and would rather have a larger diamond for much cheaper too. She was more interested in a beautiful ring design than the size of the rock.
Personally i love synthetics…people are too superficial these days…think what you can do with the money you save…its just a ring with a rock on it that people have hyped up as a tradition throughout history. The insane amount of money ppl spend on rings can easily go towards funding your future life together and not put yourself in further debt.
Why not vintage? I only have a band - I think the engagement ring is a silly, gaudy game.
I got a platinum band with 12 inset diamonds from the late 50’s very reasonably. It was great, someone else had enjoyed it, and my husband has a white gold artdeco band from the 30’s. They’re both gorgeous, they were reasonable, and the design sensibility is more timeless. And at this point for these rings, the big issues: conflict, regulated mining, cyanide from gold slag, etc, no longer apply. There’s still the gorgeous art deco mine-cut diamond, platinum and sapphire ring at slightly more than a carat for 2K that got away… One day, I’ll find it. And yes, it was pretttier than any ‘new’ diamonds.
I personally prefer synthetic diamonds. They are much more inexpensive, beautiful, and most importantly, guarenteed blood free. I would rather get the synthetic diamond in the size that I want, then compromise for a smaller “real” diamond. Also, the money saved on a snthetic can be put towards your future together. Nexus labs has some beautiful rings, for a fraction of the price!
where can u buy a synthetic ring?
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