Firstly, mapgirl suggests the Wired article on the subject. Much of the information in the article is either suspect or just downright absurd, such as their suggestion that a CVD diamond can be made for $5/carat. It suffers from poor journalism and one should look elsewhere for information on the subject.

Secondly, there is almost no pollution created by CVD diamond growth. The cooling water can be recycled, and the process primary “waste” is a small stream of hydrogen. That, too, could be recycled if so decided. A manufacturing plant growing CVD diamond could use fewer chemicals than your average janitorial service.

The only significant consumption in CVD diamond growth is hydrogen and power. Trying to figure how much power would be used is tricky. It would be a tiny fraction of the power used in a strip mining operation, but would likely result in fewer (but larger) gems.

I’m another woman who agrees that I’d rather have a partner tell me the truth, that a large diamond ring isn’t in the budget, than to have a fake diamond given to me. I would happily accept a low-budget alternative ring (a garnet, a family piece, an antique), or even forego a ring and treasure the honesty. And I used to work for a jeweler, and toyed idly with becoming GIA certified as a gemologist, so if a diamond was given to me, I’d definitely dash off to have it appraised.

What I want is a ring that is well made in a style that I like that I can wear for many years. I may or may not change the ring as time goes on. Regardless, it will always signify my life-long commitment. What I do not care about is the “perceived” value or rarity of the stone or stones in it.

My mother has diamond jewelry that she will someday pass on to me, and I will cherish it because it will have sentimental value. But as hard as I have tried to ascertain the quality of the diamonds in any of these pieces, I cannot. Nor can I tell you with any layman’s description how I can tell they are real as opposed to not real.

So why would I want to spend a fortune on real diamonds when I don’t see the value? For me, the ring will indicate my relationship status, and will be a style that reflects my own style, but it will not be an “investment” in itself. The love we have that we will share forever is all that matters to me.

I guess it should come as no surprise that I also do not want a wedding – I just don’t see how spending tons of money and stressing out will make our union any better than it already is.

For goodness sake there are any number of nice non-diamond rings or other pieces of jewellery available if money is tight. I wish people wouldn’t think the fairy story is a necessity; I know one can-do couple who had a small, funky wedding with dollar store plastic rings and they have a wonderful marriage several years on – and got some nice expensive rings a few years later when they could afford them. I’m a woman who doesn’t have an engagement ring (we got married on something of a whim) and am very happily married nonetheless!

The bottom line is that I just don’t believe it is OK to lie about it, regardless of what form the lie takes.

Imagine, for case of argument, that synthetics actually cost more than a natural stone – that you actually had to pay for the more-perfect stone. Any woman who received a synthetic diamond would happily flaunt the additional expense that shows “how much her husband loves her.”

The much-discussed symbolism of a diamond is not the in the properties of a diamond itself. Instead, the diamond is a symbol of how much the man is willing to sacrifice for the woman. While this is still a (sort of) romantic idea, it pokes holes in many of the arguments above.

The function of a ring is not to express your love, it’s a symbol telling other people that you are married. If you choose a tatoo over a ring (a la Pam and Tommy) that tells you something about the couple, if you choose a nontraditional stone that tells you something as well.

First off, don’t lie. I assume the reason someone would consider lying is that they can’t afford to buy the diamond in question. Why start off marriage with a lie about finances? Money is a big part of marriage and eventually the woman is going to figure out that the man doesn’t have as much money as he pretends he does … and then the relationship will get ugly.

As for the diamond itself, well, I’d want a real diamond unless money was really, really tight so the diamond would be really, really small (the kind where people joke about where the diamond is), in which case I’d want a fake diamond of about one-half carat – big enough to be seen and avoid the bad jokes. And after years of saving money and accumulating lots of wealth, I’d want a gorgeous real diamond (not too showy though!) for an anniversary present.

there is a wold of difference between synthetic diamonds and lab diamonds. then you have enhanced diamonds and coated synthetic diamonds. i guess the issue at hand isn’t whether to choose between a synth, lab, enhanced, or natural diamond, but the reason you are buying one over the other. if you are buying synth, lab, or enhanced to pass it off as a natural stone but for far less but larger stone, then i say that tells something about you.

buy what makes you happy, not what is going to make other people say wow or make other people feel impressed. if you buy into the whole engagement ring thing, then the ring is about you, not about other people.

if you are buying a synth, lab, enhanced, buy it because of other reasons versus wanting to pass it off as a natural diamond. this usually follows that you are trying to impress other people rather than yourself, b/c in the end you know the origins of your stone.

i like the idea of natural diamonds so that is what i would buy if i was buying a diamond.

Buy what you can afford and try to have it compliment who she is. Sapphires, Emarld & Rubies are now becoming mainstream as engagement rings, which also means a significant difference in price.

If you decide on a real diamond, go to a wholesale jeweler! I promise this will be the smartest thing you do. There is a jewelry show I highly recommend which hits many US cities, and you can see hundreds of jewlers and learn what you need to know; see their site http://www.intergem.net/

And, here’s the best trick: a .98 carat diamond will cost a lot less than a full 1.00 carat…look for a .96-.99 round brilliant diamond; have the jeweler put it on a “cathedral setting” — the height of the diamond tricks the eye into seeing the diamond as MUCH BIGGER.

I’d be happy to receive something like that.

Anyway, I told him I wanted a clear stone (I don’t have any special preference for colored ones … and I want one that clearly declares to my society “I am married,” if that’s what I end up doing) … but I’d be perfectly happy with a fake diamond. He was surprised at that, but it’s true.

And then we got into the “I’d like a ring that doesn’t contribute to the killing of people,” which is a much more difficult goal to achieve.

Anyway, yes, I’d rather have a pretty ring with a tiny stone (lab-made or not) and a good financial start on our future than some big bling-bling.

Tiny bling. Not big, budget-busting bling.

I also agree with K … it would be hurtful to be lied to about what your ring was made of … it’s a symbol of your commitment … you don’t want a symbol of a deceitful commitment. If your potential spouse isn’t understanding about the budget you have to work with, maybe that’s a good sign that you shouldn’t get married after all.

That said, even though I don’t especially value diamonds, I would be really upset, and even a little angry, if he gave me a stone he claimed was a diamond but that was really a different stone. I don’t like to be deceived, and I don’t think it would show very much respect for me or for our relationship to treat me like such a delicate flower that I could not handle the truth. It would make me question his integrity in future money matters, since he obviously cares more about how I perceive him than about interacting honestly and kindly. How do I know I can trust him if he said he paid our credit card bill but instead let the balance slide? That he really is withholding money for his 401(k) rather than blowing it on toys? I would feel like I needed to verify everything he told me about spending, billpaying, saving, etc., which is such an unpleasant and unhealthy dynamic. And that’s just the financial fallout.

No, one should never lie to one’s partner about this. Or really, about much of anything.